I was Roofied.

Last night I went to the Silver Fox Inn with my husband and girlfriend to celebrate the number of nice things that have happened to us this month including my girlfriend passing her Roller Derby assessments from Fresh Meat into Rookie and Sir’s getting a job that will pay for him to go to school for certification.
I don’t remember much but from what I was told we were having a great time, and I had made the statement that I was having a lot of fun because we hadn’t been out on a date in so long.

I hadn’t been drinking. I did order a Guiness but after a couple of sips I decided on a ginger ale instead with my burger. I didn’t think about my ginger ale being behind me while I watched Sir and Pup play pool. It wasn’t an alcoholic drink so I figured naively that no one would bother it.
I was wrong.

I started to feel queasy and a little dizzy. At first I wondered if I had somehow eaten something I was allergic to. Then my tongue began to go numb and I felt out-of-it and tired.
It was the blunt honesty that I have with Sir that saved me. I told him how I felt and he recognized the signs immediately from the days he was a bouncer and an EMT.

The rest of this telling is what was relayed to me as I do not remember.
Once in the car Damon checked my eyes and the dilation was off. He then instructed Pup to keep me awake while he ran to the store and then took us home. He carried me up the 3 flights of stairs to our apartment, changed my clothes, and kept to the arduous task of keeping me awake for the next few hours to ensure that I wouldn’t fall asleep and either 1. choke on my own vomit or 2. not be able to wake up…

What I do remember after that is waking up on the couch to Sir and Pup watching over me and telling them how tired I was. I honestly thought I had suffered some sort of allergic reaction to food or food poisoning and taken a benadryl and just didn’t remember passing out on the couch. I asked Pup how work went and later learned that me asking and continuing a conversation we’d had 6 hours prior scared her badly.

I told Sir how tired I was and after he made me drink some water, he took me to bed. It wasn’t until he woke me up because he was holding me so tight it was uncomfortable that I knew something was very wrong.
Finally he told me I had been roofied and I slowly pieced my night back together.
Sir blamed himself. He said as my husband and Dom he should have been more aware of my safety.
I blamed myself, I should have been smart enough to watch my drink.
My dear friend Leeanne pointed out the falacy in these beliefs. Its the fault of asshole who drugged me. I shouldn’t HAVE to watch my drink. I shouldn’t HAVE to be worried about being drugged.

I thought as a married woman, with people she was openly and obviously in a relationship with, and not drinking alcohol, I was safe. I wasn’t
Sir explained that he had seen it happen many times that some people put drugs in other people’s drinks because they think its funny to watch them afterward – not necessarily to date rape them.

I share this story because its scary to know someone is out there doing this to another woman…or man.

The following is an article for teens, but it pertains to all people. I wasn’t date-raped but I do sympathize with one of the girls interviewed, Jada, who was drinking water and thought because it wasn’t an alcoholic beverage there was no need to watch it.
What it Feels Like to be Drugged

My plea to all people going out – be careful. Watch your drinks, watch your friends – be clear of the warning signs of someone who has been drugged. That’s what kept me from getting hurt is the care and awareness of my loved ones.

P.s. Roofie jokes are no longer funny

Adult Toy Buying Advice

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts online asking about what people would recommend for a first toy, what your favorite toy is, what is the best toy for a couple, etc. So many questions and when asked together, I liked to focus in on the first part – the toys recommended for a first time sex toy buyer. The following is my basic Adult Toy Buying Advice.

What Gets You Off?

One of the biggest questions when it comes to buying a toy is being honest with yourself about what really gets you off? What makes you orgasm?
Do you prefer clitoral stimulation? Does it take a light touch or do you need it rough? Does it take a long time or are you quick to come?
Do you need penetration? Do you prefer girth or length or do you need both? Does too much texture make you uncomfortable or do you like ridges?
Are you in tune with your body?
Do you get uncomfortable when considering keeping something overtly sexual in the house or is kinky, raunchy, yumminess ok with you?

If you need penetration but the idea of keeping something that looks like a disembodied dick laying around the bedroom makes you squirm you might want to look at something a little more inconspicuous.
Same with if you need clitoral stimulation but it only takes a light brush to get you going, a really strong vibrator might not be the most comfortable.

I know it’s a lot to think about, however, the answers to these questions will help you dial into what toy is most likely to make your body sing.

Quality

Once you figure out what gets you off, safety and quality are the next things to consider.
There are certain materials that are safer than others. The safest materials include silicone, stainless steel, polymer coated wood, pthalate-free plastic, etc. The grading of safety for sex toys is based on a few properties of the material. These properties including chemicals in the material, how porous it is, and sterility or ability to clean it thoroughly and easily.

Chemicals such as pthalates in materials are good to avoid as they are potential carcinogens, which can cause cancer. When it comes to chemicals like this, it is better safe than sorry.
How porous the material is effects whether or not it can be thoroughly cleaned and if the material will hold onto bacteria. Porous materials include rubber, fabric like leather and nylon, and similar. Non-porous materials include glass, stainless steel, and
Sterilizing toys is important, especially if the toy is going to be shared between people or if it will be used both vaginally and anally. Some toys, like jelly, cannot be sterilized without being destroyed so if it is going to shared a condom must be used.

Quality isn’t just about the toys but also about the store they are purchased from.
Some stores are known for their quality not only in product but also in pricing, shipping and customer care.
Online stores that are easy to navigate, offer information about the toys and brands that they sell, have customer reviews available, and quickly answer customer questions by e-mail or chat are good indicators of a great store. Also, if you are living with others or simply don’t want the mail man knowing what you’ve ordered, avoiding stores that do not offer discrete shipping is a must.
The same goes for offline stores in their customer care and appearance. If the store feels sleazy the workers are obviously uncared or if they simply seem to have no knowledge at all of the products, it will create an uncomfortable shopping environment that doesn’t appeal to the customer’s needs.

Technology

Buying your first toy in the age of technology can be a little overwhelming, especially if you’re not technologically inclined. My best advice is when perusing the world of toys with buttons, cords or cordless, accessories and more is the KISS method, Keep It Simple Stupid.
When choosing a first toy, it might be best to go with a simple bullet rather than a Hitachi wand all of its attachables. Too much going on with a toy can make for a frustrating time when all you want to do is relax and get off.

Budget

After figuring out what sort of toy you are after and have found options made with body-safe materials, money comes into play. Toys can range from $5 to $200 depending on brand, material, technology, and more.
When starting out, I would recommend keeping your budget low until you have pinpointed what you like then splurging for a larger buy when you’ve become a more seasoned sex toy buyer.