Fantasticocks Tentacle Dildo Review – a BuyMeAnOrgasm Patron Gift

Tentacles are one of my favorite things! Nothing new to long time viewers, I know. So when I was gifted a BuyMeAnOrgasm Patron Gift from the lovely @np1-b, I was so excited to grab a tentacle from Fantasticocks. I hope you enjoy this rave Fantasticocks Tentacle Dildo Review!

Fantasticocks Tentacle Dildos

Fantasticocks is an adult fantasy toy company run by “two self-proclaimed geeks who love conventions, cons and everything in between.” I have been looking forward to trying out one of their toys for a long time now.

They make 2 different tentacle dildos – Clithulu and the smaller Thoa, son of Clithulu. Both are handmade with “Platinum silicone, Silicone Pigments, FDA Approved Cosmetic Mica Powders.” They are also both available in a variety of custom colors varying from shimmering to sparkling to fluorescent to bolds.

I opted for Thoa in a marble combination of pastel pink and shimmery rose gold. Fantasticocks was sweet enough to Tweet me that they loved my color combination choice!

Thoa, Son of Clithulu is the tentacle toy of your dreams. Rising from the deep, Thoa comes a more managable size but still have 18 delicate suckers down its front. A gentle curve means Thoa will be sure to reach your most sensitive areas.

Approximate Measurements:
Usable Length: 6″
Total Length: 6.75″
Base Diameter: 3×2″
Girth at Usable Length Base: 5.5″, 2″ at tip, 4″ mid shaft
Weight: 7 oz
Firmness: Medium Super Soft Shore 00-50 Rating

Receiving my Fantasticocks Tentacle Dildo

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Experiencing the Son of Clithulu

The medium soft texture of Thoa is glorious! I could have just played with it in my hands as a stress-ball like toy for forever. This would definitely make for a fun handjob/footjob visual stimulation to play with for others.

Applying lube to the tentacle dildo is the best. It squelches along the sucker-cup texture and curves, squishing along as I squeeze the soft silicone.

Mr. Faust was just as excited to get this toy in the mail as I was (he asked me several times that day if it had arrived yet). He had me lay back at an angle that prevented me from seeing what he was doing.

I definitely could easily feel Thoa’s texture internally. It not only is a great g-spot stimulator but is delicious feeling when squishing along my labia and clit. I could do that all day – just slick and squishy grinding along those bumps – mmmmmm.

This toy was not as girthy as my others but that had the added benefit of being a great dildo for vaginal DP. Mr. Faust could stretch me with it and his fingers before easing himself in with Thoa.

Tentacle Care and Maintenance

The tentacle has lots of grooves and crevices, which make for fun play but demand some attention afterwards.

Post-play cleaning, if I want to get back to playing soon (like we need to take a break or perhaps want to switch to a different partner) I use a toy cleaner and cloth or a cleaning wipe. For deeper cleaning, use a dab of unscented dish soap and warm water. Make sure you clean all the grooves. You can also toss in the dishwasher if you aren’t worried about offending someone looking for their coffee mug later.

If you use this toy anally, I recommend a condom. Those are a lot of grooves to clean after anal use.

Thoa is my new Tentacled BFF

I highly recommend Thoa if you are looking for some fun, squishy, pleasure! I’m keeping him nearby bedside for continual use.

Become an Orgasm Patron

Message me at TheSmutGeek(at) to deliver me an orgasm by buying me my next fantasy dildo. You get to pick from my wishlist! All my BuyMeAnOrgasm toys come from small businesses I love supporting.

In return for buying me a fabulous toy you get a shout out (or ad) in my toy review and a detailed description of use OR a flash story inspired by the toy.

Ice Cream Lover Review

I grabbed Ice Cream Lover on a whim after seeing its release posts on twitter. It looked cute and I’m a fan of ice cream and erotica so, why not? I am so glad I did! If all you get out of this Ice Cream Lover review is that I loved it and you should read it, I’ll consider my work done (there’s your little spoon for tasting).

Disclaimer: Links used may contain an affiliate code. This means if you purchase the book through this link, I receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. This money helps me keep SmutGeek going. Thank you.

Ice Cream Lover Review - book cover featuring male east-Asian model with shirt open and muscular chest and abs.

Book Summary

I hate ice cream. Ever since my fiancée left me at the altar and skewered me in her bestseller “Embrace Your Inner Ice Cream Sandwich: Finding the Positive You in a World of Negativity,” I haven’t been able to stomach the stuff.
Unfortunately, my five-year-old niece is a budding foodie and her favorite place in the world is Ginger Scoops, a cutesy Asian ice cream shop. Since I’ve been looking after my niece a lot lately, I’ve spent too much time there, sipping black coffee, refusing to eat ice cream, and trying not to look at the owner, Chloe Jenkins. Chloe is obnoxiously cheerful, and I can’t stand her.
Naturally, I end up kissing her.
But I’ve sworn off women after the fiasco with my ex-fiancée, and I’m convinced I’m no good at relationships. Still, with Chloe I’m tempted to do the impossible: give love and ice cream another chance…

Ice Cream Lover is the second (stand alone) romance novel in the Baldwin Village book series by Jackie Lau. It is sweet and erotic contemporary romance with a good dose of comedy. The main characters include grumpy cinnamon roll Drew (the narrator of the book’s teaser) and bisexual Chloe who struggles with being mixed race.

The Author

Jackie Lau decided she wanted to be a writer when she was in grade two, sometime between writing “The Heart That Got Lost” and “The Land of Shapes.” She later studied engineering and worked as a geophysicist before turning to writing romance novels. Jackie lives in Toronto with her husband, and despite living in Canada her whole life, she hates winter. When she’s not writing, she enjoys gelato, gourmet donuts, cooking, hiking, and reading on the balcony when it’s raining.

I love that Jackie is an own-voices author and you can really feel her love for her books and characters when you read her Tweets and in her books.

Why I Love This Book

While I love quirky, foodie, erotic romance, I have to admit the thing that made me fall in love with this book is the main character Chloe hooking up with Drew.
As a bisexual cis-gendered woman married to a cis-gendered man, I struggle with my sexual identity. Seeing a character that is bi and enters a committed relationship with someone of the opposite sex, it was heartwarming.
So often bi women in erotica who “become lesbians” or who fool around before going back to their hetero partners and read as non-committal or riding a fence.
It was just really nice to see someone who is somewhat like me. That Chloe’s choosing to enter into this relationship with Drew does not make her less of a bisexual or turn her heterosexual.

Foodie romances are awesome. I love the cozy conversations about flavors of ice cream, meals and desserts shared, and how the whole story revolves around sharing and conversation. It was so relaxing to read and, I admit, it made me grab ice cream and check out some new flavors (and crave some old favorites).

[Ice Cream Lover Review Spoiler alert] I also really liked Drew’s background issues. I have once been that self-help reader who poured over books/movies like Eat, Pray, Love or Under the Tuscan Sun.
Reading Ice Cream Lover and watching the way Drew struggled with being “that guy” who’s failed relationship was smeared all over a book and mainstream media – who was written as a horrible person rather than someone entirely human with good qualities as well as flaws – I thought back to some of the books I’ve read.
Those men talked about in self help books and biographies/memoirs – they were human. We only get to hear one side of their story. Looking back at my own failed relationships I’d certainly hate it if that was poured out on the best seller list and I was made to be some monsterous ex.
It was a very unique take on a character and I thoroughly enjoyed it!

What I Didn’t Love About the Book

It made me spend too much on ice cream…worth it. But no, seriously, if you’re gonna read this book, have a favorite on hand.

Grab Your Copy

If you enjoyed my Ice Cream Lover Review, be sure to grab your copy and a pint of favorite ice cream.
Comment below what you thought of it and your favorite ice cream flavor!
For more erotic romance reviews, click here.

Their Troublesome Crush: A Review

Ernest, a Jewish autistic demiromantic queer fat trans man submissive, and Nora, a Jewish disable queer fat femme cis woman switch, have to contend with an age gap, a desire not to mess up their lovely polyamorous dynamic as metamours, the fact that Ernest has never been attracted to a cis person before, and the reality that they are romantically attracted to each other, while planning their dominant’s birthday party and trying to do a really good job.

Their Troublesome Crush Review

I fell in love with Their Troublesome Crush when I saw the cover art. It depicted beautiful art and colors that caught the eye in general but seeing a romance novel that proudly showed not just one but two fat characters, right there on the cover! I squealed in delight and didn’t care who saw me wiggling with happiness. At that point I absolutely had to read this story.

What’s really cool is the author, Xan West, interviewed the artist, Hannah Aroni. It was fabulous to see inside her head a little regarding a cover that will probably be in my top 3 for a very long time.

The Author: Xan West

Xan West is the nom de plume of Corey Alexander, an autistic queer fat white Jewish genderqueer writer and community activist with multiple disabilities who spends a lot of time on Twitter.
Xan blogs about trans representation in literature, kink, queerness, disability, and writing on this site. Xan also occasionally blogs at other places on the web.

This is not my first Xan West story. I reviewed Best Lesbian Erotica 2019 and their story “Trying Submission” was excellent. Very much worthy of making them a finalist in the John Preston Short Fiction award. You can read my review of that particular story and book (and click through to order your own copy) here.

What I love about West’s books is also the lessons I receive about writing. I am inspired to make my own writing better when I read their work. Just the inclusion of content warnings, cover descriptions for readers that have difficulty seeing, and how they write diversity across the board gets my writer gears turning.

What Did I LOVE About The Book

From the very beginning, I was attracted to the main characters. Ernest is adorable and sweet. I’d have tea with him any day. Nora is sweet switch I am totally digging and I wish I’d met people like this in my early days of BDSM exploration. Even the side characters give me all the warm and fuzzies in their loving care for each other and the main characters.

Unafraid of Fat and Disability

There is a scene in the story where Ernest visits Nora’s home. The space and Nora in it are described beautifully, especially regarding her size. Nora becomes bigger, fatter, more relaxed in her space. The room and furnishings are chosen and arranged to accommodate her size and her mobility issues. Ernest takes all this in, the details are given to the reader unflinchingly without being grotesque. Its how I wish other fat and disabled characters in other books were portrayed – described with love.

Nurturing Care and Access Intimacy

Access Intimacy and Care are what really shine in Their Troublesome Crush that I’ve yet to see in many romances. Not only does West take care to write very real and diverse characters with a variety of needs BUT they also write characters that take care of each other with their needs in mind. My heart grew three sizes when Ernest makes food with their dietary needs in mind.

I’m gonna veer off subject for just a second but one of the first things that endeared this book to me was the very beginning scene when Ernest is trying to decide about ordering cupcakes knowing Nora is diabetic. He can’t decide if ordering the variety of sweet treats would be putting her out or if not ordering them would be stepping on her own autonomy in making decisions about what she can and cannot eat. I nearly cried. I’ve had friends, dates, and family make decisions for me “for my own good” regarding food (I’m not diabetic but this was done regarding other things like my weight and lactose intolerance). Its painful and makes me feel like a child in a not-good way. Seeing a character go over this and choose to allow the other character make decisions for themselves was beautiful and I’m grateful for this scene.

This care goes beyond food and is also revealed in Ernest’s relationship with his Daddy and with his friends. He has very clear, previously discussed, signs when he needs space due to his autism and/or gender dysphoria. His loved ones see these signs, understand that, and act accordingly. This seems simple but its not often I read a book where a Dominant grants the submissive space and its not made into a complicated mess to further the plot line. Instead it shows the love and care between characters, reveals some of their polyamorous connections and understandings, and is just damn real and sweet.

Foodie Fan

I was impressed by the fact that West did not shy away from food in their book, like many stories with fat characters do. In fact, the book is quite the foodie romance. It starts out with cupcakes and moves into dinners, tea service, and more. I could almost sing “These are a few of my favorite things” just with this theme of the book.

The only thing that could have made this over the top even better was recipes for those cupcakes and sandwiches and other treats available in the back of the book. I’d cook up a storm in my kitchen to celebrate this book.


Something that West does well in Their Troublesome Crush as well as in their short story, Trying Submission, is show BDSM, specifically the D/s dynamic as well as bondage, without making it overtly erotic.

West keys into something many people don’t always understand about this lifestyle – BDSM isn’t always about sex. You can have a very fulfulling BDSM experience or dynamic without including sex. This is revealed in West’s work without detracting at all from the romance or emotion in the story.
I’d love to see more of this discussed in BDSM romances.


Its so rare that I run into a story that truly shows polyamorous relationships in the variety that they can create. Often what I read is harems or reverse harems or close triads that all start with the main character finding love with all of them from the beginning. Their Troublesome Crush shows two characters, already in a polyamorous relationship as metamours for their shared partner. It also shows how their friends, ex lovers, etc interact with this relationship dynamic.
As a polyamorous person, I believe the characters and relationships were very believable and could see it mirrored in the polyam communities I’ve been part of. Its a complicated ballet that I think West executed perfectly in their writing.

Final Reader Thoughts

West includes a fantastic content warning at the beginning of the book as well as on their site page for Their Troublesome Crush. The following is just an additional bit of input for those wondering if this fantastic novel is right for your bookcase.

It’s not a deterrent from reading the book but Their Troublesome Crush did make me have to do some research. I’m not Jewish and I’m also not all that into showtunes. The story focuses on Pesach (Passover) and the main character, Ernest, is a big fan of show tunes (he’s even writing his own musical). So when there was a reference I didn’t understand, I’d pause my reading and do a little search about it online.

Let me emphasize that this research is not necessary to enjoy the book but I like to fully immerse myself in a story and that meant looking up words I didn’t understand and listening to songs I’d never heard before. This was actually a pretty cool experience and I don’t begrudge the book for it at all.

My Superhero: An EdenFantasys Toy Review

The Superhero Vibrating Cockring from EdenFantasys is a Wonder! This is the first cockring that not only I’ve enjoyed using but that Mr. Faust comfortably enjoyed as well. For that, its certainly a hero in my book.

I was clued into this Batman-esque sex toy by my EdenFantasys’ manager who knew that I, and you my readers, love kinky geekery. She said this was right up my alley, and she was right.

Unboxing Superhero Vibrating Cockring from EdenFantasys

The Makings of a Superhero

Created with body-safe silicone, this superhero is made to do no harm. It is hyperallergenic, latex-free, non-porous, and waterproof.

Smooth Black color with a face that changes colors including green, pink, and red.
Unstretched diameter: 1 3/4″
Max stretched diam.: 2 3/4″

The Superhero has 10 speeds and is rechargeable.

Pros and Cons


  • Fun Geeky Aesthetic
  • Rechargeable and long lasting
  • Good vibration strength for both of us
  • Comfortable fit


  • Positioning is not intuitive

The only downside to our experience was trying to position the vibrating body of the cockring so that we could both enjoy it during penetration. Essentially, I had a hard time getting it against my clit in just the right place for it to be enjoyable.


I was given the Superhero Vibrating Cockring free from EdenFantasys in exchange for a review. The review given is my honest opinion and experience. Links provided are affiliate links. That means if you purchase toys via these links I receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you.

Glass Delight Kit Review – The Joy of Glass Sex Toys!

I recently received the EdenFantasys Glass Delight Kit for review and was very pleased with the products. This was my first kit from EdenFantasys and I loved how thoughtfully it was put together – each toy selected for a purpose, carefully bagged, cutely packaged, and now in my hot little hands to be enjoyed.

Glass Delight Kit Unboxing Video

I am always happy to receive a package from EdenFantasys. Their labels are ALWAYS discrete. I do think they could use smaller, more eco-friendly packaging products but otherwise I think they do great.

The Glass Delight Kit Details

Glass Delight Kit

“Classy and stylish selection of shapes, colors and glass material – a genuine must-have for fans of both aesthetic pleasure and versatile functionality. A kit like no other – one that is eye-catching, well-thought out and exquisite in all the right ways.” EdenFantasys says it all and I have to agree with them here.

The kit contains:

  • 1 cute gift bag
  • Deep Water G glass dildo
  • Emerald Explorer probe
  • Pink Rotator

Each toy is made from borosilicate glass – often called Pyrex, which is a brand name of this type of glass. This glass is food grade, body safe, and nonporous. What makes them so safe is that the glass molecular structure is not crystalized – so it doesn’t shatter or sliver off.

Deep Water G

A sexy curved and nubbed glass dildo in a beautiful sapphire blue tone. It is a double ended dildo, making it a great choice for experimenting alone with the different textures or with a partner for a variety of shared deep water adventures.

Design / Shape / Size:

Length: 7 3/4″
Insertable length: 6 1/2″
Circumference: 4 1/2″
Diameter: 1 3/8″
Weight: 11 oz

Emerald Explorer

This bumpy probe is super fun to look at and play with. EdenFanasys described it best: “the texture is subtle but noticeable with an effect like growing speed bumps as you insert more of it.” It comes in Emerald Green and a lavender Purple.

Design / Shape / Size

Length: 6 1/2″
Insertable length: 4 1/2″
Circumference: 4″
Diameter: 1 1/4″
Weight: 9 oz

Pink Rotator

Years ago, I thought it would be super fun to have a dildo that looked like a juicer but had no idea how to give voice to this idea or what it would look like in regards to a body safe, comfortable product. I’m so glad someone else thought this was a good idea and created the Pink Rotator!

Design / Shape / Size:

Length: 5 3/4″
Insertable length: 3 3/4″
Circumference: 4 3/4″
Diameter: 1 1/2″
Weight: 9 oz

Similar Product: Blue Spiral (essentially the same thing only it has a blue accent spiral instead of all clear).

My Glass Delight Kit Experience

If you’ve read my review of the French Kiss, you will know that I am drawn to the beauty of glass dildos. As you can see, they are just so gorgeous! Probably the classiest group of sex toys. However, I did have issues with the French Kiss being awkwardly shaped for solo use (it hurt my wrist). So I was on the hunt for a glass dildo that rubbed me the right way without twisting my arm. I was so excited when not only did I find one but it came in a kit with two other fancy toys to play with!

First, I want to say that if you decide you want to try all of the toys in one evening, I suggest starting with the Pink Rotator and going up to the Deep Water G. I first tried the Deep Water G then the Rotator and I was so overstimulated from the dildo that the juicer did nothing for me.

Second, if you are into temperature play, glass dildos are perfect for you. They get icy cold and heat up with ease. However, if you are like me, and cold is not your thing, I highly recommend warming the toys up with your body (or if you’re lucky your partner’s body). They are pretty cold at room temperature, or that was my experience anyways.

Each Glass Toy was Truly a Delight

Mr. Faust and I have been discussing trying to get me to squirt (female/vulva ejaculate) and I truly believe if any particular toy was going to get me to do that, the Deep Water G is it. The g-spot curve and perfectly placed nubs stroke my g-spot in just the right way to keep me cumming.

The Pink Rotator is just plain fun. It looks like a juicer and it certainly gets the liquids flowing. I’m not sure who had more giggles using it, me or Mr. Faust who had fun rotating it once I had it in. The best part about this toy is when I used it solo combined with my Naughty Kisser vibrator – it was the best masturbation orgasm I’ve had in a long time.

I though the Emerald Explorer was going to be smaller. For some reason I had it in my mind that it would be a narrow glass version of beginner anal beads. To my surprise, these numbs are pretty thick and I was a little anxious. I’m still a bit of an anal newb despite giving it a few tries over the years.
This toy was perfect! Its non-porous, sleek design made it easy to lube up and insert without friction. Each nub was just like a speed bump. You can play it slow and steady, helping the bottom to take each one or you can up the speed for an intense experience.

All three toys get 5 Stars in my book!

Packaging Note

I couldn’t finish this review without commenting on the adorable EdenFantasys gift bag. This gift bag is sturdy, durable, and has a velcro closure. It also is discrete – no one would guess it came from a sex shop. You can reuse this bag again and again – I wish more companies used gift bags like this!


I received the Glass Delight Kit free from EdenFantasys for review. The review given is my honest opinion and experience of these toys.
The links given are affiliate links. This means if you purchase toys via these links, I receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you, this money helps me keep SmutGeek running.

EdenFantasys Emoji Review

EdenFantasys Emoji vibrator is a cute edition to any sexting geek’s toy box.

EdenFantasys Emoji Design

The Emoji is is a purple and green bullet vibrator made from silicone covered plastic with single push button control.

Length: 4 1/4″
Insertable length: 3 1/4″
Circumference: 3 1/2″
Diameter: 1 1/4″

This toy requires 1 AAA battery. I use rechargeable and recommend other toy enthusiasts do the same.

Pros and Cons

Adorable! How cute is this?
Small and handy – easy to stick in a purse, sock drawer, or other hiding place.
Body-safe silicone cover.

Somewhat weak in the vibration department.
A Bit Noisy.
Only 1 button to switch through 7 settings in order to turn off.

My Experience

I loved receiving this lil vibrator. What a cute piece to add to my collection! A vibrator styled after the often eroticized eggplant emoji was right up my geeky ally. By this alone, I feel this is a fantastic addition to anyone’s toy drawer. What is more fun than sending an emoji alone to a sex partner letting them know what you’re up to?

When I had a moment alone, I tried this cutie out. Unfortunately it is not the private moment I needed. The Emoji is the noisiest vibrator I own. Also, heaven forbid, you are interrupted by a knock at the door, this thing does not turn off quickly. The Emoji boasts single button simplicity with 7 “dynamic vibration patterns” but, unfortunately, you have to click through ALL 7 patterns to turn it off.

The great experience we had was that this Emoji is small enough to slip against my clit and press between our connected bodies during sex. This is something we cannot comfortably do with larger toys. This makes sex all the more stimulating for both of us, of course.

Care and Maintenance

EdenFantasys says the Emoji is dishwasher, soap and water, toy cleaner safe.
I clean mine with soap and water or toy cleaner wipes if I’m in a hurry. It is a smooth textured toy and very easy to quickly clean and wipe off.
If you use a dishwasher, of course take it apart and take the battery out.


I received EdenFantasys Emoji for free in exchange for a review. I did not let this exchange color my review and all words here are my honest opinion of the toy.

The links provided might contain affiliate links – this means if you make a purchase from these links, I receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for helping me keep Smut Geek running and helping me create amazing content for you.

EdenFantasys Charmed Lover Review

EdenFantasys’ Charmed Lover is a contoured g-spot dildo that is both compact, cute, and stimulating.

EdenFantasys Charmed Lover Design

Made from velvety-smooth, body safe silicone, EdenFantasys Charmed Lover is a body safe toy created to stroke your g-spot perfectly with its ribs, nubs, and sensual curves.
Length: 7 1/2″
Insertable length: 6″
Widest Circumference: 4″
Widest Diameter: 1 1/4″

Pros and Cons

Super cute design reminds me of a tentacle (no surprise to my avid readers who have heard me wax poetic about tentacles in past reviews).
The soft, smooth, black body is also flexible which makes it a comfortable toy to play with
Body safe silicone is easy to wash, even with the small section of ribs
Strokes my g-spot just right! Perfect for internal orgasm seekers

Can be a little intense if you are not used to g-spot stimulation
Definitely not for size queens (a little thing and small)

My Experience

I love the feel of EdenFantasys Charmed Lover. Its smooth as velvet and I was immediately intrigues by its flexibility and shape. Trying it alone, I achieved an internal orgasm from g-spot stimulation with ease.

The shape of the Charmed Lover curves perfectly up against my g-spot when inserted and its clever bumps and ribs stroke it without being inflexible or hard enough to make me uncomfortable. It doesn’t take many strokes for the Charmed Lover to do the trick for me.

This toy pairs perfectly with EdenFantasys’ Naughty Kisser vibrator and have earned their places near at hand to my bedside for that reason. Both, especially together, never leave me wanting.

Care and Maintenance

The Charmed Lover is made from body safe silicone and is therefore able to be boiled, tossed in the top drawer of the dishwasher, or cleaned with soap and water or toy cleaner.

Store away from other silicone toys because sometimes silicone can stick to other silicone and ruin your toys. I like to put them each in a separate cloth bag (a sock will also work) and store them in a drawer.


I received EdenFantasys Charmed Lover for free in exchange for a review. I did not let this exchange color my review and all words here are my honest opinion of the toy.

The links provided might contain affiliate links – this means if you make a purchase from these links, I receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for helping me keep Smut Geek running and helping me create amazing content for you.

The Naughty Goblin Tentacle Dildo

I have a tentacle fetish, a fact many people can tell you after talking to me for more than a few minutes online. So when I went shopping for toys during the Cyber Monday sales this year, I of course went tentacle hunting. I was super excited to find the toy I wanted at the Goblin Dildo Emporium on Etsy and have been teasing my twitter peeps ever since with pics. Without further ado, the Goblin Tentacle Dildo toy review!

I love the shop in general. The logo and its mascot are adorable (I’m a sucker for a good mascot) and the descriptions are also catching.

“The Goblin Dildo Emporium is run by an entrepreneurial Goblin called, Oscar, who travels magic lands and takes lifecasts of all things phallic. If it looks like it can penetrate the Goblin takes a mold of it… ” Carol – Assistant to Oscar the Goblin

Goblin Dildo Emporium Tentacle Dildo

I purchased the small tentacle dildo in pink. While the description says small, it is by no means tiny.

Small Tentacle:

  • Total Length: 7.4″
  • Insertable Length: 6.6″
  • Circumference of Head: 3.1″
  • Circumference of Shaft: 6.9″
  • Diameter of Head: 0.9″
  • Diameter of Shaft: 2.1″
  • Firmness: Medium Shore 00-50 Rating
Goblin Dildo Emporium offers more tentacle sizes than any other shop I’ve seen!

All of their dildos are 100% Ultra Premium Platinum Silicone and made in the US.

Receiving my Goblin Tentacle Dildo

I love that they offer discreet shipping. All of their orders are shipped in Plain Brown Boxes marked ODC/Atlanta.

Experiencing the Tentacle

So the first round with the tentacle dildo was mostly me squishing it lovingly in my hands. This thing is SOFT and all the textures make it super fun to just play with like a sensory device.

My intentions were to play with it solo at first but Mr. Faust, Dom and dildo patron, had other plans. He asked to see it so I handed it over, expecting him to hand it back and be a voyeur while I had my first ride on the dildo. Oh I was wrong…

The textures on this dildo are what make it a beast! Yes its soft, yes its small at the top and this is the smallest size. All of this is made up for in texture! All those bumps and that slight curve make this tentacle a teaser and a torturer of my g-spot and clit! At least, in the hands of Mr. Faust who is relentless with his forced-orgasm fetish.

My first time with the tentacle was without lube and I easily rode through multiple orgasms biting my pillow. It is now easy to understand the look of pained ecstasy on the faces of the girls in tentacle hentai.

My second time with the dildo was solo and I quickly learned that I needed lube if I wasn’t going to be worked up by my Dom before using it. We grabbed some water-based natural lube and the whole vibe changed with this tentacle. It went from textured-torture to slick-lover real quick.

While the tentacle starts out super narrow, the base thickens up quick and is very filling for me. I can ride it solo with relative ease and the narrow tip has allowed for Mr. Faust to try out some double-penetration with me which has made for some interesting role-play fun as well.

Tentacle Care and Maintenance

The tentacle has lots of grooves and crevices, which make for fun play but demand some attention afterwards.

Post-play cleaning, if I want to get back to playing soon (like we need to take a break or perhaps want to switch to a different partner) I use a toy cleaner and cloth or a cleaning wipe. For deeper cleaning, use a dab of unscented dish soap and warm water. Make sure you clean all the grooves. You can also toss in the dishwasher if you aren’t worried about offending someone looking for their coffee mug later.

If you use this toy anally, I recommend a condom. Those are a lot of grooves to clean after anal use.

Store your tentacle separate from other silicone toys. Silicone does funny things when in contact with other silicone. I put mine in cloth bags and toss them in a drawer though a special treasure chest would be fun too.

A New Favorite Toy!

The Tentacle Dildo from Goblin Dildo Emporium is now one of my favorite toys. I highly recommend for those of you who are looking for a fantasy toy of this nature. You could say I am having way too much fun with it.

Book Review: Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year vol 3

I was given a digital ARC of the Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year vol 3 for review and it was probably the best early holiday present I’ve received in a long time!

Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year vol 3

Trying Submission by Xan West Blew My Femme-Fat-Subby Mind!

Xan West is the one who sent me the ARC for the Best Lesbian Erotica of the year vol 3, so I of course wanted to give it my attention when I opened the book on my computer. I am so grateful for the chance to read this story. It is one of the best D/s pieces I’ve ever read. In fact, when I approached writing this review I was a little nervous about how to best write it, its just that good and I wanted to do it justice.

Trying Submission is a non-sexual look at a D/s scene. It begins with negotiation in a comfortable public space and leads into the actual scene itself. Xan does give a content warning for the story:
“D/s, mild pain play, service. Autistic MC goes non-verbal during negotiation and during play, they find ways to continue. Autistic MC also gets sensorily overwhelmed and does things to process that. “

I fell in love with the story in the first moments of reading it. The main character, Lillian, is a fat, femme, submissive that speaks to my heart with her Ursula t-shirt and joint issues (knee). Even her dark lipstick and the way she imagines her barriers strengthening through tentacles made me grin with joy when reading. I related to all of these aspects so much but don’t want to brush past the fact that this story is also about Women of Color – Lillian is Latina and Roz is Black.

These descriptors are actually one of the great parts of the story. Xan delivers them as facts – the characters are fat, femme WOC in the kink lifestyle. It is never brought up as a problem, as a source of insecurity, or related to any conflict. Parts are delivered as a source of pride (being femme and Latina/Black) and parts just are there and  shared because that is how they navigate in the world (fat, disabled).

As an erotica writer and advocate for fat reps in erotica, I talk to a lot of readers and this is exactly what many of us are looking for in representation – state that they are fat, show how they move in the world, and move on. Trying Submission does that beautifully.

I’m also a fan of how Xan shows the non-sexual D/s scene. It was realistic and appealed to my own submissive nature. I could easily see the way each action and moment helped slide Lillian into sub space. I could feel it myself as I read how Roz took control of the scene while still taking care of her submissive. It was just what Domination should be, as far as I’m concerned and it left me craving more from the author.

I would highly recommend this piece for those seeking realistic D/s stories and beautifully written characters.

Rainbow’s End by Emily L. Byrd Rocked My Goth Socks!

My other favorite story was Rainbow’s End, a short cute scene by Emily L. Byrd that focuses on adorable, short, goth writer Lizzie as she attends a reading at a LGBTQ+ book store for the first time. Content Warning includes mild violence and hate speech at the very beginning.

Oh how I can relate to Lizzie with her goth clothes, eyeliner, paranoia about walking around alone in a big city, and clumsy interactions with others in the queer community. Her story gave me all the feels especially in that, while it doesn’t explicitly say she and A.J. live happily ever after at the end, I can believe it.

The scene felt real from the casual introduction including pronouns and Lizzie’s bashful insecurities to A.J.’s charming push pull of consent in the courtyard to the sexy tights tearing. Ah those early fumblings of our first times with another girl.

I recommend this story to just about anyone that enjoys lesbian first time stories. Its a sweet addition to the volume that I truly love and appreciate.

Overall Best Lesbian Erotica of the Year vol 3 was a Great Read

A fantastic book to add to your erotica collection or keep at the bedside for one handed reading (snuggle it with your favorite toy and you’ve got a hit). The stories here really open up suggestions for your own fantasies, which make it a hit for me. Even the stories that didn’t do it for me, like Where There’s Smoke and Fuck Me Like a Canadian, had great parts that got my gears turning and expanded my mental fap-folder. I can’t wait to see what future volumes bring and what these authors come up with next.

Naughty Kisser Toy Review

Naughty Kisser from EdenFantasys is a tongue-like vibrator that promises languid hours of buzzy play.

Shaped like a tongue (or tentacle)
Body-safe Silicone with nubs making for yummy texture play
Intense vibration with low sound

Non-rechargable (invest in rechargable batteries!)
Get detailed with your cleaning (nubs and creases require attention)

Material / Texture

A fabulously thick plastic handle gives way to a silicone tongue covered in small nubs. The silicone is soft, almost velvety, and the nubs make for fun texture play.

The Naughty Kisser is partly made with body-safe silicone and water proof (as in take it in the shower but don’t toss it in the dishwasher for cleaning). To clean, use a silicone-safe cleanser like ones made specifically for sex toys. Do not submerge. I like to use sex toy cleaner wipes on this one because I find that I can better clean the nubs that way. The nubs and creases between the silicone and the plastic make it a more detailed clean, but worth it.


Color: Pink
Length: 6″ (about half of which is insertable)
Circumference: 4 1/2″
Diameter: 1 3/8″
Weight: 7 oz

The shape of the Naughty Kisser resembles a tongue (or a tentacle, if you’re like me and see them everywhere…lurking…ready to do unspeakable naughty things…ahem…). Its shape lends well to fantasies and wet and messy play but does not lend well to discretion so be sure to put it away afterwards in case of company.

The handle of the Naughty Kisser is very comfortable. Its curved shape fits under my fingers well during play and, if you’re like me and have wrist issues, allows fro a relaxed grip even as you click the buttons to change settings or turn off/on.

Having only 2 buttons – one for turning on/off and another to switch between the 7 vibration settings (Escalating / Multispeed / Pulsating / Rollercoaster / Surging / Vibrating) its great for use during play. I don’t want to have to fumble with a dial or switch too much when I’m trying to achieve orgasm. Being able to click one button to adjust is perfect. However, I have hit the off button as I was trying to boost the vibration intensity and that led to some impromptu, personal edging that was unexpected.


The Naughty Kisser is my go-to vibrator. While this means I had to invest in rechargable batteries, it was worth it.

Usually, I use it as my regular, relax before bed masturbating toy. Sometimes I change things up and use it with a good amount of lube for a slippery, wet kiss to work myself up before playing with my partner.

Often, when using this toy on myself, I will start out with the back of the “tongue” then, working up to the third (most intense) speed. After that, I will level off, working back down to the first speed, turn it over and tease my clit with the tip of the tongue and again work up to the third speed.

The Naughty Kisser so easy to use alone that I often reach for it when I need to do some one handed smut reading.

I tried the Naughty Kisser with my partner but it was too big for use between us during penetration (I prefer bullet size vibes for that sort of play). While Mr. Faust rode me, I tried to use it on my clit but ended up tossing it aside when things progressed further than my brain wanted to hang onto (fifth orgasm and I don’t want to think of much beyond my overstimulated clit and g-spot).

Its great on its own and with a dildo though. Mr. Faust did use it on me our first try with it. He enjoyed using the flat of the tongue for pussy-spankings. It makes a deliciously wet sound when doing this, especially with plenty of lube.


I purchased the Naughty Kisser from EdenFantasys. I was not paid for this review. I do use affiliate links in my blog post. That means that if you click on the link and purchase something, I receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for helping me keep SmutGeek up and running.