#MasturbationMonday: Trying Something Different

Trying Something Different for Masturbation Monday. Short, sweet, and a lil unlike my usual stories. Hope you enjoy.

Oh Cum All Ye Faithful by sub-Bee

Gregory answered the door and greeted the newest member of the local kink community. They’d chatted at the coffee meet ups and more online, late night messenger sessions discussing their kinks, smut they read, masturbating to each other’s words. Now Lydia was here.
He knew it was cliche – he was older and she was so fresh in her black leather skirt that hugged her thick thighs, her black sweater plunging at the collar to reveal her ample cleavage. Her black leather boots with the high heels that he requested she wear clicked on the hard wood when she entered.
Turning he put her coat up and gestured to the living room. There, before the Christmas tree, was the leather spanking bench and on the couch his toys. “As we discussed,” he said with a smile.
He watched Lydia take it all in, the holiday lights sparkling in her wide eyes. There was something so enchanting about seeing someone new get excited about this world – it made Gregory feel both jaded and rejuvenated.

“I don’t promise to be very good at this,” Lydia said softly.
He nodded and smiled with understanding. “I know. I do promise to be a very good boy though.”
She smiled then and turned to step away. From her coat pocket she retrieved the last thing to make this all perfect. “I brought you a present,” she hesitated by the tree. “I didn’t have time to wrap it though.” Looking the decorations over she made a decision and plucked a silver ball from the branches.
When she reached the spanking bench, she showed him his gift – a cock ring with the ornament strung onto it, hanging from its velvet ribbon.
Gregory laughed as he unbuttoned his pants and dropped them to reveal he was commando and hard.
She looped the leather cock ring around his base and smiled at the hanging ornament resting on his sack. “Merry Christmas, boy.”
“Merry Christmas, Mistress”


KotW: Current Collar Status

Kink of the Week December 1-16: Collars comes at the perfect time as Mr. Faust and I are revisiting our D/s dynamic and current collar status after our BDSM life has been on hiatus. You can read my previous thoughts on collars in the first collar-themed KotW post here.

Molly explains that collars are “a popular part of BDSM and D/s culture. For some people it is a very important part of their relationship, acting as a symbol a bit like a wedding ring but for others it something that is used as part of their kinky play and has no other significance.”

Reviewing Our D/s Dynamic

Our BDSM play and D/s was put on hiatus in my third trimester of pregnancy and, with the busy-ness of a new baby, a move across the country, and life in general, we didn’t pick it back up until recently (over 3 years later). Now that we are returning to this dynamic we also realize we are both very different people from the 19 year old and 23 year old that began this lifestyle together and ran with it.

Current Collar Status

Years ago I wore play collars of varying materials and meanings. I also gifted collars that ranged from play to symbols of commitment. It probably says something that I don’t have any of those collars today.

As we renegotiate our dynamic, we also revisit what collaring means to us. My current collar status is unknown.

Some days I wear a decorative collar made by someone who was formerly in our leather house years ago. I wear this like a security blanket some days – a reminder that I am Mr. Faust’s and cherished. Other days, his hand around my throat is the only thing I need to make me fully aware of my status.


#Masturbation Monday: Cutting Clothes Off

Welcome to my 2nd Masturbation Monday entry. If you missed my first one, you can find My First Strapon Experience here. I’m excited about week 221 because it inspired me to share about the time we played with Cutting Clothes Off.

Masturbation Monday

The prompt image this Masturbation Monday is from May More. I love teaser photos like this one, they probably get me going faster than most hardcore porn, tbh. What caught me the most was the rip in her tights. Immediately my mind went back to a play party I was working at and how a tear or two in my fishnets and tights inspired some knife play that left me bare and wet.

Cutting Clothes Off

February 2013 Mr. Faust and I were asked to help set up a rented cabin for a play party. The party was for the attendees to a series of classes taught by Jim Duval and PhoenixB. We didn’t attend the classes as our schedules wouldn’t allow for it, but we were happy to help set up and attend the party.
I made baked goods, something I love doing, helped direct the DJ in setting up, and cleaned up a bit. Mr. Faust put his muscled to work helping set up dungeon equipment including St. Andrew’s Cross, spanking benches, suspension rack, a whipping post and more.

The highlight of the night was a hook pulling involving labia as well as some needle play and plastic wrap mummification. I only got to play once however (being a voyeur was more than enough otherwise).

During the night I tore my tights. These are old tights, I should say. They saw a lot of action including my days as a go-go dancing at a cyber punk club. So tearing this wasn’t particularly painful, just annoying enough for me to mention to Mr. Faust.
As he looked at the tear and run along my inner thighs, I could see the gears working in his head. Without much need for discussion, my Dominant directed me to the nearby horse bench and positioned me to his liking.

Mr. Faust keeps sever pocket knives handy – a habit from boyhood. He took a couple of these out and sat them down where I could see them. As I gazed at these everyday items that had suddenly transformed into instruments of torture, he pulled up my skirt and ran his hand over my ass and thighs, getting a good feel of the texture of my tights and fishnets.
One of our play partners got permission and took a few photos. I barely noticed them as Mr. Faust got to work. He teased my bare back with the open blades, hissing at me to keep perfectly still. He pointed out the dim lighting, the way I trembled, and how sharp his knives wore. Each word escalated my fear and excitement. He could slice me open and as I slipped into sub-space I might have let him.

He began with the fishnets, making holes here and there, where he felt was the most fun, where I would feel it on ticklish areas and erogenous zones. My tights did little to buffer the sensation of cold, sharp steel on my ass and legs, behind the knee, along my feet, up my inner thighs to my pussy that I was certain was making a huge wet spot in my tights.

Tried as I might to conceal my anxiety and thrill – I whimpered openly as Mr. Faust began to slice and tear into my clothes. Cutting clothes off became a primal act the further we went. I don’t know how he was able to restrain himself once my tights were a mess of fabric at our feet. I was yanked up to standing position, told to kiss his blades before he closed them, each one slowly, and put them in his pockets. He then sent me to get some water and barely touched me after. Like some infernal edgeplay, I went the rest of the night without release until we got home.

Once home, Mr. Faust and our play partner had their way with me, telling me how turned on they were with each cut and each whimper. I had no way of expressing how much I ached during that scene for one of them to touch me roughly or sweetly but only received cold steel and low warnings.

Sub Prompt: How Did We Meet?

Submissive Prompt is How did I meet the person I serve?

Sir Phryxus and I met sort of at a club sort of online. I’ll explain.


I was new in town, going to college, all virginal and shiny and newby. I talked some friends into going to a local goth night at a club called Rafters. They were having a Masquerade and I really wanted to check it out. So a group of guy friends and I went. As we were having our I.D.s checked and our hands stamped as too-young-to-imbibe a guy came out to check on the number of people they had and laughed about how here he was hosting this shindig and the only one without a mask…
Yep, that was Mr. Faust.

I saw him a few other times that night. I thought he was cute but always around girls so I assumed he had a girlfriend and didn’t approach him. Besides, the guys I was with were like brothers and wouldn’t leave me alone for one second.

Later, I was looking at the forum that the goth night had – Dancing in the Dark (which sadly no longer exists) and joined the message boards. It was new to me so when it asked for your name I used my real name and didn’t think anything of it. I got a message not long after from a guy saying I had a really pretty name.
We got to chatting and decided to meet at the next goth night. I talked some girl friends into going this time, not feeling the need to have big brother watch over me.

As you might have guessed, the online guy was Mr. Faust. I was happily surprised. We danced, kissed. He asked if I had a boyfriend. I said no. He said, “You want one?” Yea…he was smooth lol. So we’ve been together ever since.

Sexy New Years Resolutions 2013

Happy New Years Everyone!
I hope everyone had a wonderful 2012, survived the various ends of the worlds, learned something new, and had a good time experimenting.

I thought I would share with everyone my Kinky New Years Resolutions. This was inspired by the New Years Resolutions from Em & and Lo.

  1. Have more sex.
    This sounds silly but in point of fact sex is super healthy! It helps to bond with my romantic partners, burns calories, creates good-mood chemicals in the brain, and it’s fun! What’s not to like?
    If you’re looking for ways to improve your sex life try Essence’s 10 Sexy New Years Resolutions. There are some great tips in there.
  2. Communicate.
    I recently read Pagan Polyamory by Raven Kaldera (review coming soon) and I have learned a lot about communication for me and my partners I can’t wait to put into play in 2013.
    Communication is important for any relationship, no matter if it is is monogamous, D/s, or poly or a combination of any. This may not seem kinky or sexy, but make up sex really isn’t as fun as truly enjoying your partners and not trying to kiss away the boo boos of your words.
  3. Enjoy more toys.
    More toy enjoyment means more reviews which means more blogging fun for 2013. I have a box of sex toys waiting on me and a few toys I’ve used that I’ve delayed in writing reviews on for to long. Be ready or 2013 to be riddled with dildos and vibrators, strap ons and floggers, lube and gags and blindfolds. I’m ready, are you?
  4. Hand over the pen…er…keyboard.
    That’s right. I won’t be the only one pouring over this blog. It is no longer my baby, though I will still be lead writer. My family has taken over and instead of being Mimi’s BDSM Bloggery, this is now the home of House Phryxus. You will be hearing more from Mr Faust and other members of our house.
  5. Go to more events.
    More munches, dungeons, parties, beatings, and more.
    I want to immerse myself in the dark world of BDSM and really get the enjoyment out of watching and being among others of similar mindset. I love these events and I have got to start making time and budgeting for them.
  6. Write an Ebook
    I keep saying I’m going to and keep making notes and lists and more for them but keep leaving it all by the wayside and never getting it done. This year, I’m going to write an e-book for this blog. Keep an eye out for it.
  7. Get my hands dirty
    And before you go there…I mean by being more proactive in the BDSM and Poly community. Volunteer and help with events, see what I can to to get Erotication out there, and educate myself on more aspects of it.
  8. More Interviews
    I have a list…have had a list for all of 2012 of people to interview and articles to write. I just never got around to it. It’s on my blogging priority list and I can’t wait to introduce you to some of these fantastic people.
  9. Read more
    I have a looooong list of books I want to read in 2013. I plan on reviewing all of the ones I do read. There’s just so much out there. Some of the books include Dark Moon Rising by Raven Kaldera, the rest of the Wolf Tales series by Kate Douglas, and who knows, maybe I’ll trying and figure out the 50 Shades of Gray hype.
  10. Experiment with other kinks and fetishes.
    I love human buffets and flogging but what about dollification, burlesque dancing, and in-depth tantra? So much to try and only 365 days to do it in.

I hope your new years resolutions are fun and make them something you can stick to in 2013. Don’t stress over weight, instead, try and sex diet or simply look into some plus size lingerie that really shows off your assets. There’s no point in stressing about what you did or didn’t do in 2012, live for the day and plan for the ‘morrow with a smile.

For more about Resolutions and Goals, check out The Submissive Guide’s Article about Goal Setting.

BDSM Training – Learning to be a better D/s Partner

My latest article, BDSM Training Schools, is now available on EdenFantasys’ SexIs Magazine! Its all about two subjects I really enjoy – BDSM and Adult Homework (I know, I know, I’m weird).

In the article I discuss the trend towards educational sites and training services that are popping up online to meet the growing need for people to learn to kinky play and D/s relationships in a safe way from the pros. I focus on the schools I’ve personally checked out and learned a lot from:

  • Kink Academy which I love for its continual addition of pro instructors and videos on a large variety of topics, including hypnotism, rope work, polyamory and legal concerns.
  • The Submissive Guide run my lunaKM which offers tons of free resources including a course on how submissives or slaves can better serve through inner reflection and contemplation.
  • BDSM Training Academy run by Mistress Sophia and Master Bishop have put together a collection of emailed classes for Dominants and submissives alike and have categorized them by D/s role as well as gender. Their basic course is free.

I loved these three sites. My Only complain is that the Submissive Guide and BDSM Training Academy didn’t have many resources for those like me who switch. Yes, I’m mostly a sub but sometimes I Top and it would be nice to have some resources from them to help submissives who sometimes cross that line and how to stay grounded either way. Perhaps they will develop some in the near future.

Domestic Submission: EdenFantasys Article

Very excited to announce my piece on Domestic Submission is now live on EdenFantasys!

Domestic Submission

When a submissive performs domestic chores they not only show their willingness to please but they can also see that these tasks are helpful to their Dominant. At the end of the task or day of them, they can develop a sense of accomplishment and pride in having made themselves useful.

I am no Domestic Goddess so domestic submission helps me to get tasks around the house done that I would otherwise grumble about (or procrastinate on…or not do at all). When I look at the task at hand from the D/s perspective, it changes things a little. Suddenly, a mundane and tedious action like laundry becomes something kinky. It might not make laundry any more fun but it does help my mind to explore this path of submission while getting the job done.

I wrote this article to spark discussion about non-sexual D/s dynamic and answer some questions I’ve received in the past about daily submission and domestic submission.

Interview with Nic Buxom

Nic Buxom is a 26 year old Pro-Switch and comic artist who “makes light of the inner workings of the dungeon and BDSM scene.” She’s been working at her local dungeon for 6 years now and creating her comic blog since 2009. She was gracious enough to take time out of her busy schedule to talk to me about her art, lifestyle and kink. I am a huge fan of her artwork (as I’m sure you’ve read before on a previous post) and enjoyed her candid responses and, as always, her great sense of humor.

Nic Buxom

D Faust: In your comic, you show yourself as starting work as a Pro Domme because you were broke, a most noble reason. ^_^ However, what, besides money, has kept you in the business?

Nic Buxom: That I got involved in the Pro-Domme industry due only to money problems is half a joke. I WAS looking for a better paying job (retail is a monster) but I also desperately wanted to do something I enjoyed for a living. I was a lifestyle BDSM player before moving to pro so fetish and kink was something I did for pleasure, anyway. Why not get paid to do it? It’s everyone’s dream to do something they love for a living and working in a dungeon has been exactly that for me through the years. I’m very lucky to be able to say so.

D: How did you come into the BDSM scene in the first place?

Nic: When I was in highschool I discovered I took pleasure in controlled pain. I had never heard of BDSM or anything of the like but I knew I was fascinated by bruises and liked the way they looked and felt, among other things. I had some friends who shared my interest and we began to explore practices that I now know fall into the BDSM and fetish realms, though at the time I was oblivious that there were people out there like me that shared these interests.
My best friend and I engaged in collar and leash play, puppy play, flogging, bondage and other common practices associated with BDSM. It wasn’t until I got my first computer and gained access to the internet that my world was opened up and I realized there were societies full of people just like me. The web was a great tool for me to meet mentors and begin to explore other activities and play partners, as well as visiting my first dungeon!

D:How did you train yourself as a Domme starting out or were you mentored?

Nic: When I began in the scene I was very submissive. I tried many activities from the bottom and learned from them. I thought I was going to be a submissive forever! I had no interest in topping. I was much more shy and introverted then and didn’t get a rush from Domming like I did from being on the receiving end of pain and direction. Still, you can’t help but learn in those situations. When I started as a pro I came in as a submissive. Both the Mistresses I worked with AND the clients helped me to learn and train to be an excellent Domme. I still love to switch, though I primarily Domme now. Some clients have been seeing me for years and have watched and helped me to develop. Many of these men gifted me some of my first tools that I now use extensively in topping, such as paddles and my extensive collection of TENS units (an electricity device I specialize with.) Absolutely the most helpful, though, has been the other women that I work with. The great thing about working in a dungeon, as opposed to working independently, is the wonderful family and society you grow with. We all teach and support each other and there are so many different talents to learn from, particularly ones very familiar with the pro-scene. It was essential to my personal growth (in and outside of my business) that I worked with such grand, eclectic ladies.

D: As a Domme, do you own a slave or submissive outside of work?

Nic: I have never owned a personal slave or submissive because, to be honest, I have never had much time for it. I think it’s a fallacy that a personal slave will make your life easier by handling everything for you. Sure, they can run errands and help out but there is still an exchange expected. Your slave cooks you dinner, you sit down and enjoy it and then you’re expected to get back up and play with him/her and give her what she’s in the relationship for. It’s like any other “vanilla” relationship, everyone has to get something out of it. Slaves can be VERY demanding for your personal attentions and I just don’t have time in my busy schedule to emotionally support another person. I know many of my clients consider themselves my personal slaves because they are very loyal but they still pay me for my time and so I still consider it business. Plus, I get to send them home afterwards with no hurt feelings and my time spent with them has a solid end point, agreed upon ahead of time. I never have to worry about them encroaching upon “me-time” or personal space. Some people like to engage in 24/7 BDSM relationships and that’s great for the people it works for but I like to have my vanilla time when I’m not thinking about business and protocol.

D: What advice would you give someone interested in becoming a ProDom or ProSub?

Nic: Firstly, this business is not for everyone. It sounds glamorous and easy on paper but I assure you it doesn’t lend itself to everyone. If you want to work in the sex industry in any capacity you must, must, MUST be able to tell people “no.” Sticking to your limits is so important for your comfort and self-worth and people are ALWAYS going to ask you to betray your morals, scruples and comfort zones. People who can’t stand up for themselves and what they believe in will get taken advantage of and made miserable in an industry like this one.
Beyond that, don’t bluff your way into the job. Alot of new Dommes want to preach about all the big names they’ve studied under and how great and amazing they are. Just stop. Get to know the tools for real. Study under a good mentor for real. And if and when you enter a dungeon or encounter other Dommes don’t play “biggest Domme in the dungeon.” What I mean is this isn’t all about chest puffing and strutting. It’s a mistake to think that Dominatrix’s stalk about cutting people down with their words and whips. We’re all real people outside of and beyond our work and should treat one another as such. When you get in the room with a client and he’s paid for his time THEN you can throw on the persona! When you’re just interacting with other workers and people outside of a scene then drop the attitude. And DON’T play with a tool you don’t know. You’ll hurt someone, and not in the fun way!
So, be strong-willed and respect yourself and your limits, really learn the tools and be courteous to others. If you put the time into this, like anything else, it will pay off and be a truly fun and rewarding business.

D: In your comic you show the weirdest thing you’ve ever done at work, what was the most favorite scene you were ever paid to play in as a Dominatrix or submissive?

Nic: That’s a toughie! I’ve had so many scenes that have tickled me in so many different ways. Some I enjoy more from a pleasurable aspect, some more out of humor, some out of ease.
If I had to pick one favorite I think it would be the night when a very familiar, regular client came in just before closing time. Everyone knew him and he was pretty indiscriminate about who he played with, or even what we did in session. He was a very submissive man who truly enjoyed seeing a Mistress take pleasure from him so he would do just about anything you wanted. (As a side note, many submissives claim to want to do whatever you want and then change their minds the moment you actually do what you like. It’s typically bad form to leave a scene negotiation at “whatever you want” instead of being clear about limits and desires. Everyone has things they like and things they hate and it’s important to communicate them for the safety and enjoyment of everyone involved.)
Since it was closing time there were only about 4 girls left, including the receptionist. Somehow it was arranged that the client would play with all 4 of us at once. We locked up and headed back to a playroom together. The scene consisted of us all dancing around to silly, bouncy songs on the radio, laughing and clapping while the client danced around with us, naked but for a sparkly tu-tu and headband. It barely felt like work and we all had a great time like it was one big party. The client took turns dancing with us while the rest watched, laughed and danced with one another. We did that until his credit card was declined.

D: I love your comic, it’s so funny and light hearted. What got you into drawing your life as a Dominatrix?

Nic: I’ve always drawn. Even when I was a tiny child I drew on anything I could get my hands on. I was the kid who got in trouble for drawing in the margins of her homework (though my grades were still always exceptional.) I’ve also always loved comic books and have long been interested in writing/drawing one of my own. I decided that in order to practice and hone my skill I needed to start regularly drawing comics, even if they weren’t any good to start. I didn’t want to use any solid characters or ideas I had because I was too fanatical about character design and getting everything perfect so I knew I had to pick something I could play and tinker with, something light and easy to formulate content for, something I could draw swiftly. It was someone asking me to begin a blog about my Dominatrix work that gave me the idea… Why write a blog when I could illustrate a comic? I began NicBuxom purely as a pet-project! Something to practice. I thought I would move on when I was comfortable with the comic medium. Little did I know it would take off and become so dearly loved by many (including myself!)
NB has taken on a life of it’s own. What started as purely humor and practice has become a platform for me to educate people about tolerance and other important issues, in a fun way. I write about my experiences as a Dominatrix as more than just education into the industry and lifestyle but with the underlying message that we’re all people, we’re all human, despite our differences. I hope I have alleviated people’s fear of the unknown for more that just my lifestyle, but of the entire world around them.

D: Many of your comics deal with accepting self image no matter weight, height and even hairiness. How have you come to be comfortable in your own skin and how does that help in your line of work as a Domme?

Nic: To be honest, starting working at my dungeon helped ALOT with my self-image and my development into the happy and confident woman I am today. I found that being surrounded by very outspoken, strong-willed, beautiful women of all shapes and sizes really helped to change my attitudes. They were the stepping stone and the booster I needed to realize that just because you don’t fit the societal depictions of beauty DOES NOT mean you are not beautiful. And it doesn’t hurt to have clients that worship you like a queen, either!
One absolutely needs to be confident to work in the sex industry. You have ALOT to deal with specifically regarding your body, personal space, comfort zones etc so you need to be able to say “no” and value yourself no matter what.

D: On your blog, you are selling “The Things You Love Are Monstrous”, an art book created by yourself and MC Griffin. Do you ever plan to sell a book of comic compilations?

Nic: First, let me say that MC Griffin is an outstanding artist and that if you can look up more of his work, you should. He’s been my friend a long time and we collaborate frequently, though “The Things You Love…” is our only attempt at publishing together.
As for a personal collection, I’ve long and hard considered it. I admit, I’ve become quite comfortable in the webcomic medium and that “The Things You Love…” was a way for me to test the waters on interest in my work in a more physical, tangible form. I don’t feel that a hardcopy of NicBuxom would do well, considering all of the content is free online. Sure, I would offer never before seen sketches but I don’t agree that that is incentive enough for a publication to be worth my time and money right now. Were I to publish, I think I would publish a collection of sketches or pin-up style unique characters. Something from me you couldn’t see anywhere else and as a taste of the further extent of my work. For now, I have no intentions of doing a hardcopy publication but you never know what the future holds…

D: Your blog and comics show your travels across the United Stated for personal and work reasons. Have you found that areas differ on how they view your line of work?

Nic: I have not worked very frequently outside of LA so don’t take my impressions as an authority on any other region. The number one thing I have noted is that (surprisingly) many areas do much more “hardcore” play than we do here in LA. My dungeon is a legal business and so we abide by the laws of our city. We are particularly careful to abide by prostitution and obscenity laws in my place of business. When I travel I get asked for much more wild play and often things outside of my personal comfort zone. I’ve nothing against girls who engage in prostitution but I personally chose not to. I’ve been asked much more frequently in other states if I am a “full service” Dominatrix and the East coast has a higher interest in scat and other play involving bodily fluids and functions. Many of the women I’ve worked with who were first Mistresses in New York are shocked by the softer interests in LA. It’s more my style out here but maybe it’s just because this is the scene I’ve been raised in.
What I’m particularly surprised by in other areas is that people have no concept of what a Dominatrix is. I don’t expect anyone to know the ins-and-outs of my business and I understand better than anyone that there are many misconceptions but for someone to have NO concept at all doesn’t make sense to me. Our media consistently portrays BDSM activities. Look at any of your favorite pop artists music videos. There’s bondage, spanking, latex, crops, ball-gags, puppy play and more. Not to mention our media, movies, radio etc. I expect someone to at least get “whips and chains” coming to mind when they hear Dominatrix but I’ve met many people who needed a full explanation and could hardly believe I wasn’t weaving them a fairy tale!

D: You’ve been to a few different adult conventions, which was your favorite? Why?

Nic: It used to be AdultCon. When I first started at these conventions they were busy, people were friendly and I’d prance about the whole day getting lots of attention and selling lots of product. There was also plenty to see and lots of fun goodie bags. Unfortunately, lately with the economy the way it is and other factors the old AdultCon scene has become abit tired and much smaller. Suddenly the crowd is different, too, and while I’m very tolerant by nature and practice I’ve still noticed the ratio of creeps has grown much higher. (I even had a small stalking scare…)

My new (and unexpected) favorite has been HempCon! I don’t smoke marijuana and I’ve never even tried it so when I was first assigned a HempCon job I had a bad attitude about it. I thought I wouldn’t be able to associate and make a connection with the people there and that there wouldn’t be anything interesting for me to see. While it’s true that the hordes of friendly offers to share a smoke are wasted upon me there, I was proven wrong about the people and convention itself. Vendor and attendee alike were overall very easy to get along with and very friendly. The people are what really make a good time at a convention but there’s lots of amusing things to peruse, as well, even for a non-smoker like me.

D: What can we expect from your comic and blog this year?

Nic: This year there are alot of personal changes in my life and so I know those will be reflected in the comic.
I’m planning to move into my own place (for the first time!) with my boyfriend and take on new business ventures. I’ll likely be doing some independent Dominatrix work outside of my dungeon and I’ve also recently begun cam and phone work, something completely new to me. I expect these new venues to give me loads of new script ideas for NicBuxom and expand the realm of sex-industry that I’ve thus-far explored. I may even take on some vanilla work again (which I haven’t done in over 6 years) and I know I’ll have alot to say about that. I may have some retail complaints that more people can associate with! But worry not, the main focus will still be BDSM.
I hope to also have some more artwork up for sale as I’m beginning to expand onto painting wood cut-outs that I’ll proudly be sharing on NicBuxom (and maybe even displaying at future conventions!)

D: What plans do you have for your Dominatrix career in the year 2012?

Nic: This year has been hard (already.) The economy is at its worst in my lifetime and our industry is suffering for it. We dungeon girls are feeling it just like the rest of the world because our clients are feeling it. Even my regulars are cutting back on their visits this year. Because of this I’m expanding outside of my dungeon. I’m exploring more independent work, I’m doing some online fetish and photo sales, I’m taking phone and webcam sessions. I’m even looking into starting up a personal paysite with monthly memberships to host my photos and video and to make myself more available to fans who can’t reach me in the dungeon. I’m excited to explore these new tools. I’ve seen many of my coworkers utilize them over the years but I’ve always stayed in the comfort zone of my dungeon. Now, however, times have forced me to branch out but I’m hoping it will be a good thing! I’ll still be available at my dungeon, I’m not letting go of it that easily. This is place is too big a part of who I am and what I want out of my life.

SmutGeek Soap Box: High Protocol

Hey readers. I had a discussion a little while ago with a Dominant on the use and misuse of High Protocol in the scene (both online and off) and wanted to share my thoughts on the subject.

First, there are a few definitions of High Protocol I want to address before I explain my stance. High protocol is a formalized way of doing things in a D/s or M/s relationship that can dictate everything from how a submissive sits,stands or walks to what he/she says to whom and how they act in public or private. Some view High Protocol as a very strict standard of BDSM relationships (not to say that this is a bad thing at all). There are other,probably better, definitions available on the fabulous interwebs and I encourage you to look into them for more detail.
Within Reality gives a great example of protocol in her article here and of High Protocol, she says,

“In high, using the bath example, I would present my Master a towel by kneeling before him, head bowed,eyes lowered and demurely offer to dry him off. This level is serious and formal. My Master has taken the words/thoughts from the Estate – ‘Complete obedience, without delay, or hesitation is required. All nonessential movement,speech, and thought are unacceptable. There has to be the awareness that every move, answer and behavior is being carefully examined and judged.’Some other examples of the different levels of protocol are I am allowed to sit on furniture during low. In medium I have to ask permission. In high I am not allowed on furniture. In low – I must say yes Sir or even my Master’s given name in some cases. It is yes Master always – unless with people who are not aware of our lifestyle, in medium. And in high protocol it is ALWAYS yes Master.”

My High Protocol Experiences

I do have some experience with High Protocol with a past,online Dominant. This has colored my judgment on it a little but I feel I’m now better able to look at other High Protocol relationships more clearly now that time has passed.

With my Past Dom, who I will call TEM for now, practiced a formalized standard of BDSM offline with other submissives and slaves and saw no issue with training and treating me in the same manner online and over the phone. This might not have been a problem if we’d had a deeper relationship beforehand, as another Dominant recently pointed out, but, because we did not,I developed some issues in the relationship in being able to adhere to his standards. TEM did teach me a lot of things however, such as basic definitions and structures of BDSM, he began my training in orgasm control, and taught me that no one wanted a door mat for a submissive and that being a strong woman was very important in general.
That all being said…

The Use and Misuse of High Protocol

I wanted to address an issue that a lot of people I’vespoken to have had with High Protocol – Dominants who insist on being addressedas Sir/Ma’am or Master/Mistress either by other Dominants or by subs/slavesthat are not their own. This is a MISUSE of High Protocol. Just like anything elsein the scene, even Titles must be at the consent of those giving the Title to aDominant. I personally have an issue giving the title Sir/Ma’am to anyone whohas not yet earned my respect as a Dominant. At first I thought it was just theSwitch in me but then I realized, no, it’s a respect issue. Just because someone says they’re a Dominant of the highest caliber doesn’t mean they are and I might just want a little proof of that statement.

Also, calling another Dominant Master or Mistress is an outright No. I only have one Master, and that is Mr. Faust, and I have one Mistress and that is Mistress Fenreya. Period. No one else has earned my trust to earn these titles and, besides, Daddy would be awfully pissed off is he ever heard me refer to another Dom as Master.

In the same way, I get a little miffed when someone, not Mr. Faust’s sub, calls him Master. They haven’t earned the right to call him that just as he hasn’t earned their trust to call him that either. It’s like a little calling every male they see in the scene Daddy or crawling in their lap(I’ve had issues with this before and it wasn’t pretty).
Oh, if you do see me refer to someone who is not my Master or Mistress as Master so-and-so or Mistress whatever, it is usually due to the fact that it’s a screen name online. Sorry if that’s confusing.

-climbs off my soapbox for a minute-
One of the great things about the proper use of High Protocol is the lifestyle it creates for the participating D/s couple. I was told of a couple that the Master literally has a manual for every task he demands of his slave from how to lay out his clothes in the morning to proper coffee service. Being able to perform these tasks in a way laid out by my Dom would be very enriching and even empowering. It not only lets the sub please their Dom but also allows them to stay within their boundaries that are clearly laid out – no guess work involved.

Another form of High Protocol is ritualizing some tasks. Tea service can be quite beautiful and some Masters like for their slaves to learnformal tea service as a way to improve themselves not only in knowledge butmanners and grace. One could even say a collaring ceremony is a ritual of HighProtocol in that it can be formalized and the Master can hold a high standardfor the slave in actions, vows and contract.

Ahem –back on soapbox-
Another misuse of High Protocol is when Dominants or evenother submissives expect slaves/subs to automatically know how to act in a HighProtocol situation. I’ve yet to see this in life but I see it online a lot.Going into a room that demonstrates High Protocol actions and expecting a newperson just entering to know these things is a little immature. I’ve beenchewed out and seen others reprimanded harshly for simply being ignorant of therules of conduct in that room towards other Dominants or even other subs.

An issue that isn’t necessarily High Protocol but just an issue I see a lot in the scene is Dominants who feel they are King/Queen of the hill and that all subs are lowly and should automatically show respect. This also falls into consent. I’ve been overlooked, told that my opinion doesn’t matter,even booted form chatroom or ignored in real play parties because I have a collar or identified as a submissive at the time. I’ve spoken about this before…and probably will again because it’s a big issue with me. Just because we are subs doesn’t mean we are nothing. I don’t give anyone permission, not even my own Dom, to treat me like I am worthless because I identify as someone who is submissive to 1 or 2 people. I’m still a person and so is every other submissive on the planet and as a person I still require at least a small form of respect. Just as not all Dominants are wonderful, Kingly, majestic, always right, and perfect. Sometimes they too are in the wrong and both the Dominant and the Submissive should be heard in any issue in the community.

-sits on my soapbox thinking-I’m sure there are other issues to address here but I can’t think of any right now.

I do want to direct you, my dear reader, to read a greatarticle about Gor lifestyle. I used to be prejudice against Goreans because of the few I’d met online were a little…well…mean. I really enjoyed and learned alot from this article though and am more than willing to give Gor a second chance. You should too if you’ve had the same prejudices or experiences as I have had.

Rope Corset Practice

Mr Faust has been doing some Rope Practice. He has plans to put me in a rope corset for my birthday later this month. While this sounds like fun, it mostly means a lot of standing around while he plays with ropes and knots.

Not shown in the photos is a long rope tail or leash.
Mr. Faust wanted to bring it down between my legs like a hip harness but I explained the inevitable trips to the bathroom since we would be drinking and that idea was vetoed.
The corset is very exciting all the same and I have a whole outfit picked out that is focused on and inspired by its design. My favorite part is the back that looks like a sort of external spine.