Why Nerds Don’t Get Laid (LOL)

As a dorky, geeky, nerdy girl I’ve had some laughs with my partners over the years. The following instances stick out in my mind the most.

Round 1

While Mr. Faust and I were participating in some manual foreplay he was being a little rough on my clit. I told him it wasn’t a joy stick…and this was a queu for him to break into the Super Mario soundtrack and sound effects
Yea I promptly told him Princess Peach was no longer interested in his toadstool play…

A friend of mine sent me this image when I told them what happened

Now…before you judge Mr. Faust too quickly, this was sort of pay back.
While going down on him a while back I took the notion into my head and went “Rawr Rawr RAWR!”
He looked at me as if I was crazy and I explained by saying “Rawr Rawr RAWR Godzilla!”
This did not seem to explain well so I pointed to his erect penis and said “Tokyo Tower!”
He was not happy with my humor. ^_^

Round 2

Mr. Faust loves blacksmithing and one of his blacksmith friends posted this on Facebook. His response “Oh that’s hot!”
I looked and pointed out there is a hole (on the left hand side) for him to stick his penis in.
Mr. Faust: “Yes, yes there is.”
Me: “You’d fuck an anvil?”
Mr. Faust: “No, I just wanna beat on it…with a hammer…don’t give me that look.”

Round 3

While having sex…my girlfriend, Wolfy, who is asthmatic and a lil worn after a long bout of sex, was gracing me with her talented tongue. Whilst between my legs, I could hear her hot breath against my thighs and sex and the sound…well it was similar to a very famous character in cinema

Darth Vader Dildo from GespenstsFantasyGear

Well…once this realization hit me, I broke into a fit of giggles that couldn’t be consoled or repressed. My poor Wolfy, bewildered, held me until they were done and I told her what had happened…and she also broke into a fit of giggles – I am so happy she didn’t take offense.
So now, Wolfy has taken to catching me off guard, holding her hands over her nose and mouth and mimicking the scene in which Vader says the line, “Luke, I am your father.”